On the eve of 16 weeks

Hey, I'm still pregnant! CRAZY.

Had a minor scare a few weeks ago, but let me tell you, that is what dopplers were made for. I had bought one a couple of weeks before, so when I started bleeding (bleeding! With blood!) I was able to check, establish heartbeat, and call the doctor on call. A followup appointment the next day confirmed what I thought, a subchorionic hematoma. So all is well, and the bleeding has stopped, although I am being denied nookie for the time being. BOOOOO.

I'm feeling very "girl" about this, and the gender ultrasound is next month. Contrary to what I thought, I will not be getting an amnio until the very end, and only to establish lung maturity. The perinatologist swears the ultrasound will be accurate, and I told him I would hold him to that. I think he's kind of freaked out by me anyway, because when I went to see him last year for a consult, I had all my labs and the report on my placenta from the c-section, and , um, the autopsy. I wanted to make sure I had it in case my OB's office didn't send my records over, but he was a little shaken that I had it and that I had actually read it. Like, dude, I'm in charge of this body, I kinda need to know what it did for future reference. Long story short, I think Dr. T might fear me a little. I can't decide if that's an advantage yet.

The little one is right up front and I can totally feel her, which is pretty rad. The Husband is very jealous and is accusing me of hogging the baby. The Kid is really excited, and is also excited about the names we've picked out. I may share when we know gender, but since I don't use anyone eles's names on here I am not sure about that.

All in all, I am pretty excited. Whee!

I also want to briefly say happy birthday to my sweet boy, who would have been 2 on May 5. This baby will never take his place, and maybe it's "bad" or whatever (I do feel tremendous guilt because I am stupid) but it was a little easier this year. Whether it's the passage of time or the moving on that is represented by this pregnancy, I don't know, but I suspect it's a bit of both.