It's been 2 weeks

I guess that's enough time to process.

Reproductively speaking, 75% of my dad's kids are screwed. 3 of 4 daughters. On the one hand, it's nice to no be a freak. On the other hand, it makes me even more scared to try again, and also I hate that people go through this.

And it's all different for us. One was never able to conceive. One has secondary infertility. Me, well, you know my story. Everybody's brand of hell is unique to them.

That notwithstanding, I have been in fine form this holiday season. We got a Child Substitute Puppy, and I went to visit my mom and my sister in the next state. The Kid and my niece had much fun together.

So let's leave this on a hopeful note:
1) I am very lucky to have a job right now, and extra-super lucky to have the job that I do have, which is awesome.
2) I am glad I am getting the chance to connect with my sisters who I did not grow up with. I had been in touch with one, but I think shared experience may be what cracked the other's shell. I'd still rather have my kid back, if that is the alternative, but this is nice.
3) I am in my house and I am in no danger of losing it, knock wood. SO glad we did a lot of research and bought what we could afford at a fixed rate, and even more so that we have had steady income and not too much financial misfortune. People very close to me have not been as lucky.
4) Did I mention the puppy? Because she is SO CUTE.
5) Notwithstanding the fact that I want to kill him at least once a day (and vice-versa, I am sure) I have a great marriage which has so far weathered this storm. I am loved and adored, and I love and adore.

Happy New Year, y'all.